AFC Free Agent Progress Reports
The Broncos finally found an offensive playmaker. The Ravens walked away from the Maxx Crosby pileup unscathed. The Raiders got better. The Dolphins got cheaper. The Jets? They just got older.
This is Part 2 of a two-part series of free agency progress reports. You can find Part 1 here, covering the NFC teams. These assessments are not meant to be final “grades” of anything. They are merely snapshots of how each team is doing after three weeks of free agency.
Teams are categorized into three categories: Contenders, Middleweights and Rebuilders, and then assessed according to the needs of those categories. Contenders must avoid backsliding. Middleweights must make a push to become contenders. Rebuilders must rebuild. You wouldn’t appraise the calculus students and the eraser eaters according to the same criteria, would you? Then why would you appraise the Rams and Raiders that way?
NFC East
Buffalo Bills
Like many observers, I think Brandon Beane is an overpromoted suit-filler, boardroom backstabber and all-around ninny who was starting to flail as a showrunner before he carved out even more organizational power for himself.
Unlike some observers, I am trying not to view every Bills decision through that lens. The NFL offseason is designed by flailing ninnies, for flailing ninnies. Given Josh Allen and premium subscriptions to The Athletic and Pro Football Focus, a ninny can flail sideways for many years!
The DJ Moore and Bradley Chubb acquisitions were fine, really: both veterans have something left to offer at need positions.
Many of the moves in the secondary are upgrades. Dee Alford is a young and scrappy slot corner. Geno Stone will look much better when he’s not the last line of a non-defense. C.J. Gardner-Johnson is a Scotch bonnet pepper: awesome in very tiny doses. The players they are replacing were worth replacing.
Alford and Chubb both had huge games against the Bills in 2025. Stone sacked Josh Allen on a blitz when the Bills faced the Bengals. When not signing Panthers binkies (Moore), Beane may be scouting free agents based primarily on Bills film. Adorable! But that’s still more film than some of his peers watch. CONTENDER PROGRESS: Satisfactory.
Miami Dolphins
Released DE Bradley Chubb: The Dolphins are “tanking” for cap purposes.
Released QB Tua Tagovailoa: Yep, tanking.
Traded DB Minkah Fitzpatrick for a seventh-round pick: Tankety-tankety-tanking.
Let their fullback, kicker, punter and long snapper walk: They’re fucking serious.
Signed QB Malik Willis: Interesting! They have just enough quality pieces left on offense to remain competitive, which could facilitate a quick turnaround in 2027…
Traded Jaylen Waddle for draft picks: Nvm. Tanking.
The best things about the Dolphins offseason so far are: a) they may have found a franchise quarterback at a reasonable price; and b) at least they won’t turn into the Saints and end up wandering in the salary-cap wasteland for half a decade. REBUILDER PROGRESS: Satisfactory.
New England Patriots
ME, THROUGHOUT 2025 SEASON: The Patriots are benefitting from some probability-warping luck and aren’t nearly as good as their record.
PATRIOTS FANS, THROUGHOUT THE 2025 SEASON: No, you insufferable hater, this is culture, Patriots Way 2.0, Mike Vrabel’s precious alpha-male essence, the start of another quarter-century of dominance, and other primordial forces beyond your comprehension.
MIKE VRABEL, BASED ON FREE AGENCY: The Patriots benefitted from some probability-warping luck in 2025 and weren’t nearly as good as their record.
