Snapshots! Summaries! Synopsis! Easy-to-write holiday content with a long shelf life! Call it what you like: here are tasty holiday morsels for all 32 NFL teams.
My apologies: the email went out BEFORE final edits. So it had some real blunders in there. Fixes have been made in the app and web versions. Thanks for your patience. Festivus and whatnot.
“The Broncos don’t try to win by producing the most big plays, but by trying to make the fewest mistakes.”
They try that, but Denver games are often them making more mistakes and then having to careen through the carnage. Their ideal opponent is one who is willing to commit more penalties.
Bo Nix may not be as ascendant or reliable as luminaries such as Caleb Williams, but he’s someone Denver has lacked since Peyton Manning: a QB who is firmly entrenched in getting to start for a 3rd consecutive season. Which brings up an interesting question: at this point, Jay Cutler stands as the best QB that Denver has ever drafted. Bo Nix will exceed Jay Cutler, right?
Still on top of its game with the best, most enjoyable pro football content anywhere. (Sam Bradford references aside, which merely prove this isn't AI generated).
Holy crap! I was just thinking about that ergot bread fungus thing this morning in the shower (don't ask why) a full two hours BEFORE I read this column.
That's a cosmic convergence if there ever was one.
There were some great lines in today’s column. For me, the MVP goes to, “Jeffery Simmons plans to spend the offseason standing outside Mike Vrabel's bedroom window holding up a boom box.”
I always told students "Don’t overwrite. Find a way to say what you want to say in a way that is brief and memorable, but complete."
'Voided-warranty version of Jaden Daniels' is the pinnacle of that approach. It's an entire story in six words, a perfect summary worthy of Fredric Brown.
Thanks. I'm trying! I have noticed Proliferation of Extra Words across all media this year, including my own writing. Can't always find the most concise set of words at 11 PM on Sunday night, but if I have day to think about things...
Yes, I think that should be a good barometer for the Eagles' ceiling this season. Not sure if Carter and Johnson will be back for this game, but I'm glad to have them back for the playoffs.
Regardless, nothing will take away what they accomplished last season, and that playoff run and particularly the NFCCG and SB were much needed joy during what has otherwise been an up and down year for me.
My apologies: the email went out BEFORE final edits. So it had some real blunders in there. Fixes have been made in the app and web versions. Thanks for your patience. Festivus and whatnot.
I'm bummed I didn't get to see the version with all the Sam Bradford references!
HA! Sometimes I think it's an intentional jab at Darnold.
I am hoping Mike accidentally called him by the right name when he meant to call him Bradford.
“The Broncos don’t try to win by producing the most big plays, but by trying to make the fewest mistakes.”
They try that, but Denver games are often them making more mistakes and then having to careen through the carnage. Their ideal opponent is one who is willing to commit more penalties.
Bo Nix may not be as ascendant or reliable as luminaries such as Caleb Williams, but he’s someone Denver has lacked since Peyton Manning: a QB who is firmly entrenched in getting to start for a 3rd consecutive season. Which brings up an interesting question: at this point, Jay Cutler stands as the best QB that Denver has ever drafted. Bo Nix will exceed Jay Cutler, right?
"So have some eggnog and relax, you insufferable doomers."
😂 Have a Merry Christmas, Mike! 🎄🦅
One addition:
TOO DEEP ZONE
Still on top of its game with the best, most enjoyable pro football content anywhere. (Sam Bradford references aside, which merely prove this isn't AI generated).
Happy holidays all.
Holy crap! I was just thinking about that ergot bread fungus thing this morning in the shower (don't ask why) a full two hours BEFORE I read this column.
That's a cosmic convergence if there ever was one.
Wow! Best column YTD. Brevity is indeed the soul of wit. Your prose is peaking at the right time- like all champions. Very Merry Christmas Wishes.
"increasingly-embarrassing old horny toad"
I'm never not going to think of this whenever I see, hear or read about Belichick.
It's a fantastic Christmas gift, and not just because you can interpret 'horny toad' in more ways than one. Classic.
Merry Xmas Mike!
There were some great lines in today’s column. For me, the MVP goes to, “Jeffery Simmons plans to spend the offseason standing outside Mike Vrabel's bedroom window holding up a boom box.”
The 'If' parody is excellent, but...
I always told students "Don’t overwrite. Find a way to say what you want to say in a way that is brief and memorable, but complete."
'Voided-warranty version of Jaden Daniels' is the pinnacle of that approach. It's an entire story in six words, a perfect summary worthy of Fredric Brown.
I salute you, sir.
Thanks. I'm trying! I have noticed Proliferation of Extra Words across all media this year, including my own writing. Can't always find the most concise set of words at 11 PM on Sunday night, but if I have day to think about things...
The double "proudly" in the Colts entry definitely counts. ;)
Brevity, soul of wit, things of that nature.
A highly enjoyable read as I enjoy some peace and quiet before revving up for our Christmas Eve party. Happy Holidays to everyone!!
Merry Christmas Mike! Your column is essential to my NFL experience, even when you're dumping on my team.
I see you have subscribed to get ratings from Mike Schur's team at Quant-6 to do your QB evaluations for the Niners.
https://bsky.app/profile/kentremendous.bsky.social/post/3maoahpccgc2k
I need to see the Eagles play at Buffalo on Sunday and then my eyes will tell me how far the team can fly this year. Go Birds!
Yes, I think that should be a good barometer for the Eagles' ceiling this season. Not sure if Carter and Johnson will be back for this game, but I'm glad to have them back for the playoffs.
Regardless, nothing will take away what they accomplished last season, and that playoff run and particularly the NFCCG and SB were much needed joy during what has otherwise been an up and down year for me.
Sounds like Carter is a yes and Lane is a no. They probably just don't wanna risk Lane at all.
Yeah, I would be surprised to see Lane play before the playoffs.
I hate eggnog.
Excellent article. Merry Christmas!
The Hume Cronin reference is PROBABLY to Cocoon, but (like Rivers) Cronin's career went for many many decades, so alternate explanations include:
-the Colts as classic Hitchcock (Cronin was in Shadow of a Doubt); or
-the Colts as a film noir (Cronin was in The Postman Always Rings Twice).
Perfect recap of the Bills' season. Had to share it with my dad and brother. Merry Christmas!