Having Run Out of Better Ideas, I Write About Super Bowl LIX
Featuring the EXCLUSIVE, DARING Super Bowl prediction I dreamed up over a complimentary hotel breakfast.
NEW ORLEANS — Let’s begin with FOX Sports officiating analyst Mike Periera’s response to a question about the perception that Patrick Mahomes benefits from too many borderline calls.
“Geez, it's like I'm hearing, what about Tom Brady?” Periera said, gesturing theatrically.
“I mean, that's what they used to say about Brady all the time. Brady said the game's getting too soft. I said, ‘We put these rules in because of you! What are we talking about?’”
Brady was not at the FoxSports media availability. He had a scheduling conflict. Brady was extremely busy not feeling like attending media availabilities from Thursday afternoon through the end of time.
Charles Woodson was there. And Woodson shut the Mahomes question down as only a Hall of Fame cornerback can. “All quarterbacks get the calls,” he said. “All quarterbacks get favoritism.”
These quotes were made possible by transcription software that uses AI. I loathe AI, but I loathe doing my own transcription even more, especially when the audio in a crowded convention center conference room can sound like a bootleg of the Beatles at the Ratskeller in 1960, recorded from behind a toilet.
The transcription software does a bang-up job. Here is how it interpreted the Mahomes question to Periera:
What do you make of the perception that the erupting of Pastor Paul is on the line? I've gone to farts.
Listen buddy, all of us have gone to farts by the Thursday of Super Bowl week. We just don’t talk about it. Clearly, the interviewer said “gone too far,” but the AI doesn’t have enough “I” to recognize common turns of phrase just yet. At least, not the freeware I am using. But I would rather go to farts than pay for such products.