If You Love Myles Garrett, Set Him Free
The 1st overall pick in the draft is up for grabs. Myles Garrett is not. Get more news from the Combine with the Too Deep Zone NFL Executive-to-Earthling Translator!
INDIANAPOLIS — NFL coaches and executives stepped up to the podiums on Tuesday for the traditional annual festival of generalities, cliches, half-truths, non-committal statements and outright lies known as day one of the Scouting Combine.
Also an annual tradition: yours truly collecting those statements, filtering out the filler and gibberish (99.97% of it), running what’s left through both a universal translator and my proprietary bulls**t-detecting tricorder, and painstakingly extracting the one resource NFL decision makers desperately try to horde in the weeks before free agency and the draft: the truth about such topics as:
The Titans’ plans for the first overall pick
Zack Baun’s future with the Eagles
Von Miller’s future with the Bills
What the Falcons plan to do with Kirk Cousins
What the Vikings plan to do with Sam Darnold
Whether new Jaguars GM James Gladstone can buy energy drink from a bodega without showing a student ID
and more!
Browns GM Andrew Berry on Myles Garrett, who requested a trade last month
What he said: “As you guys have all heard me say, he's a huge part of our organization, he’s a really good person and he's an awesome player. I understand the trade requests and everything. But our stance really has not changed. We can't imagine a situation where not having Myles as a part of the organization is best for the Browns.”
What he meant: The Browns are in sicko mode! Watch as we cut off our nose to spite our face! It’s performance art! We hate ourselves and our fans! Wheeeeeeeeeeee!
Berry, an old hand when it comes to Browns organizational controversy and chaos, opened his press conference by addressing Garrett and remained adamant through several questions that the Browns are not trading their disgruntled defender. Berry wouldn’t entertain trade scenarios. He would not even reveal if the Browns have fielded phone calls from trade partners for Garrett. It was a bold DON’T YOU DARE TRY TO HELP US SOLVE OUR PROBLEM stance.
Berry was also rather evasive about the possibility of extending Garrett’s contract. “Whenever you get into extension talks, they can happen at any time,” he said. “I've learned not to predict those, because often times those negotiations can go up and down and back and forth.”
Berry may be attempting to craft a financial apology. Garrett said that his trade request was not about money, but everything is always about money if you offer enough of it. The Browns are in a salary cap trash compactor due to Deshaun Watson’s contract, however, so it’s hard to imagine how they can construct a deal with enough up-front money to placate Garrett. And if they do spend every dime of cap space on Garrett and the injured, ineffective and execrable Watson, how can they possibly build the type of contender Garrett wishes to play for?
My guess is that Berry would trade Garrett for a bushel of draft picks if he could. Only Jimmy Haslam-level obstinance can create this intractable a conflict. There’s a chance that the Browns start the season with Garrett holding out while Watson tries to rehabilitate his latest Achilles setback via telehealth appointments. It’s all counterproductive, counterintuitive, inexplicable and very distinctly Browns.
Titans GM Mike Borgonzi on trade offers for the first overall pick
What he said: “I would say we've had some phone calls. I'll keep those phone calls to the vest, but we've had some phone calls.”
What he meant: [Rings dinner bell] Come and get it! No reasonable offer refused!
If Borgonzi thinks he was keeping his intentions “close to the vest” on Tuesday, I would love to play poker with him after he’s had six beers.