Last Chance Prospect Szn.
Walkthrough rounds up former first-round picks with something to prove, veteran defenders on rebuilding teams going ham, and quarterbacks who are doing just fine, nothing to worry about, really.
It’s easy to be cynical and overly snarky this time of year, when every negative story sounds like exaggeration and every positive story sounds like spin.
In fact, you can almost set your watch by the schedule of prefabricated stories emanating from each NFL training camp this time of year:
Day One: Coach is Happy Camp is Starting. Or, the Jim Harbaugh version of this story: This feels like being reborn. I remember my birth clearly. The bright lights. The sudden noises. The exhilarating sensation of finally bursting from the walls of my mother’s uterus. I’m a totally normal person. Follow me to gridiron victory.
Day Two: Quarterback Mutters Platitudes.
Day Three: Veteran Superstar is Excited About New Coach/Teammate/Rookie/Pastel Alternate Uniform.
Day Four: First-Round Pick is Making Mistakes But Everyone Agrees That’s a Good Thing. Or the Cardinals version of this story: First-Round Pick Plans to Sue Etsy Creators for Making Red Shirts With a “1” on Them.
Day Five: Undrafted Rookie is TURNING HEADS.
Day Six: Everyone is Day-to-Day With Injuries; Coach Remains Optimistic
Day Seven: Beleaguered Last-Gasp Veteran is in the Best Shape of His Life. BSOHL stories are more of a minicamp or baseball spring training trope, but they also make good filler features during a team’s off day.
Day Eight: Young Veteran is Ready for Leadership Role.
Day Nine: Guy With New Contract Happy Because Money. Or the 49ers/Cowboys version of this story: DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
And finally, as preseason games approach and everyone will finally have something quasi-real to talk about …
Disappointing Former First-Round Pick Poised For a Breakout
Lions wide receiver Jameson Williams caught a deep touchdown pass on the first day of training camp, then (per Eric Woodyard of ESPN) “vomited after making the explosive play but eventually cleaned up and rallied to get back to work on the field.” So Williams may not be in the Best Shape of His Life, but who among us has not cleaned up and rallied after a little vomiting? And at least the play was the only thing described as “explosive.”