Patrick Mahomes and the Gospel of Intangibles
The Chiefs issue a Sunday night statement of faith. Plus: a Cousins Kirkcoming, the Seahawks claim the NFC West (for now) and a fool and his $3 million are nearly parted.
In this Week 14 edition of NFL Walkthrough …
Kirk Cousins shows Vikings fans what they are missing. (Mostly bitter disappointment.)
The Eagles narrowly survive the Panthers, giving a $3-million high-roller a coronary in the process.
Puka Nacua reminds the Bills that they are mortal.
The Seahawks … good?
And much more. But first …
The Chiefs Gospel of Intangibles
When they needed a late-night overtime touchdown to beat the Buccaneers in Week 9, those of us groping for explanations invoked the Gospel of the Intangibles. That win was a testament to Big-Game Experience. The Andy Reid Factor. Patrick Mahomes Magic. Mere mortals fret about the regular season. Demigods like the Chiefs achieve transcendence each January. It was a familiar benediction about a team that also endured sloppy stretches en route to a championship in 2023.
When they needed to block a 35-yard field goal to beat the Broncos, apostates began to question The Gospel of the Intangibles. Is settling for field goals, needing an illegal contact penalty to set up their only touchdown and allowing a rookie quarterback to drive to the 17-yard line while nursing a two-point lead REALLY part of some divine plan? Blasphemers even whispered that the Chiefs were receiving not-so-divine favor from NFL headquarters. Still … Leo Chanal once blocked an extra point in the Super Bowl, so maybe the Chiefs were repeating themselves in mysterious ways.
The loss to the Bills meant nothing to the congregation. The Chiefs ALWAYS lose to the Bills in the regular season, oh ye of little faith.
When they allowed a comeback from a two-score deficit and needed a frantic last-minute field goal drive to beat the lowly Panthers, the Gospel of the Intangibles became a theory that explains everything, and therefore nothing. Yes, Mahomes, Reid, Experience, lip-service, blah-blah. But the Chiefs receivers were unreliable, their pass protection downright awful, their defense buckling, Travis Kelce ossifying.
When they did whatever the hell they did and won however the hell they won on Black Friday – something about a rookie center panic-pooping the ball because his rookie coach didn’t manage the clock properly – all sense of might and majesty drained from the Chiefs’ penchant for last-second victories. Surely we were witnessing weekly parlor tricks, not minor miracles. The Chiefs weren’t experienced or cagey or blessed with some ability to maximize their odds in high-leverage situations. They were just lucky.
They were also not very good. DVOA warned us that they were the NFL’s 12th best team entering Week 14; the Chargers actually ranked 8th. If you don’t believe the analytics, believe the oddsmakers: Super Bowl contenders rarely go 5-7 against the spread.
Something had to give on Sunday night. The Chargers were not pushovers like the Raiders or Panthers. The Chiefs couldn’t be wobbly on offense and leaky on defense against an 8-4 opponent eager to make a statement. Either the Chiefs played like their 2022-23 counterparts, or Jim Harbaugh and Justin Herbert would expose their heresy. Right?
Matters of faith are never so easily resolved.