When You Seek Revenge, Dig Two Graves.
The Micah Parsons Bowl ends in a 15-round No Decision. The Chiefs deliver a beating. Jaxson Dart takes Manhattan. Aaron Rodgers staves off a Vikings invasion of Dublin. I am so very tired.
In this jumbo-sized Week 4 edition of NFL Walkthrough:
The Chiefs prove Worthy of Super Bowl consideration.
I apologize for the previous pun. It really stunk. If I expect people to pay for these Monday columns, I have to do better.
The Ravens aren’t in big trouble. They’re merely in considerable peril.
The Rams and Jaguars restore some order to the standings in their respective divisions.
Jaxson Dart Takes Manhattan! BUT AT WHAT COST?
The defending champions are 4-0, much to the chagrin of both Eagles haters and Eagles doomers.
And much more!
Let’s kick things off with the Sunday night mayhem in Jerry World.
Lukewarm Revenge Spotlight: Green Bay Packers 40, Dallas Cowboys 40 (OT)
What Happened
The Cowboys took the Packers for a ride on their emotional roller coaster. They used the Micah Parsons trade and subsequent war of words to lure the Packers into a game of Drama Ball. In short, the Cowboys dared the Packers to be as silly as they are.
The Packers were poised to take a 14-0 second-quarter lead when Juanyeh Thomas blocked Brandon McManus’ extra point attempt after a Romeo Doubs touchdown. Markquese Bell scooped up the block for a Cowboys two-point conversion.
That play appeared to rattle the Packers, while an injury to Devonte Wyatt depleted the middle of their defense. The Cowboys drove 80 yards for a touchdown late in the quarter; George Pickens out-leaped two defenders for a breathtaking 28-yard catch to set up a Dak Prescott run.
Jordan Love got the ball with 41 seconds before halftime and began playing loosey-goosey hero ball, as he often does. James Houston stripped Love deep in Packers territory. The Cowboys led 16-13 at halftime.
The Packers and Cowboys switched their defenses off and began trading long drives and touchdowns in the second half. An easy Josh Jacobs scamper gave the Packers the lead early in the fourth quarter. Javonte Williams capped a 77-yard drive to take the lead back with 4:50 to play. Doubs caught his third touchdown pass to give the Packers the lead again with 1:45 to play.
Where was Parsons through all of this? Briefly, he was in the medical tent. Sometimes, he was getting double-teamed by blockers. He applied a little pressure here and there. But mostly, the Cowboys neutralized him with quick passes and a reliable running game that kept them out of long-yardage situations.
A 45-yard KaVontae Turpin kickoff return after the two-minute warning almost made things too easy for the Cowboys offense. Prescott connected with Pickens for a 28-yard touchdown so quickly that it left Love with 35 seconds to work with.
A 25-yard catch-and-run up the left sideline by Jacobs got the Packers to the edge of field goal range. A few more plays got the Packers to the 35-yard line. McManus split the exact middle of the uprights. Time to brew more coffee.
The Packers won the toss and chose to kick. A 22-yard Prescott strike to Pickens on third-and-5. A bomb to a toe-tapping Jalen Tolbert at the five-yard line that would have been jaw-dropping in a normal game but was just another thing that happened as Sunday Night football ticked into Monday morning. The Cowboys could not punch in a touchdown — Parsons tripped up Prescott to finally record a sack — but Aubrey could kick a 22-yarder from his knees.
Aubrey is also mastering the art of bouncing kickoffs in the landing zone and skittering them into the endzone, forcing the opponent to start at the 20-yard line. Matthew Golden converted fourth-and-6 with a 14-yard pass. Two chunk runs by Emanuel Wilson got the Packers to the Cowboys 40 at the overtime two-minute warning. Dontayvion Wicks eluded defenders over the middle for 15 yards. A Doubs slant. A short Wilson run. Then Trevon Diggs blew up a screen to Golden. The Packers used their final timeout with 28 seconds left. Love, living dangerously foolishly, dumped off a short pass to Wilson in bounds, lined the Packers up in a hurry, then threw the ball through the back of the end zone.
One second left.
McManus drilled a short field goal. The Packers and Cowboys had played to the highest-scoring tie in NFL history. (There was a 43-43 tie between the Oakland Raiders and Boston Patriots in the 1964 AFL.) The highest-scoring tie before Sunday night was a 37-37 Panthers-Bengals game in 2014: Cam Newton versus Andy Dalton, with Gio Bernard and Fozzy Whittaker as the running backs. Fozzy Whittaker!
What It Means
Brian Schottenheimer and his staff put together a smart gameplan to neutralize Parsons and play to the Cowboys’ strengths, despite the absence of CeeDee Lamb.
The helium has been sucked out of the Packers’ reputation after their Week 1 and Week 2 victories. They still lack the instinct/ability to deliver a knockout punch against a capable opponent. Their defense lacks the depth to overcome injuries to players like Wyatt and Nate Hobbs. But Love, Dobbs and others remained resilient when it looked like the game was getting away from them.
The big winners on Sunday night, however, were the Lions, Eagles and other divisional foes of the Cowboys and Packers, who gained a half-game lead on Sunday night.
And we are all winners in a way: we don’t have to pretend the Packers deserved to win that game, and we don’t have to hear Jerrah cackling about how this was his plan all along.
What’s Next
The Cowboys embark on a breezy Jets-Panthers road trip. The Packers are on bye. They will probably sleep for a week. I’m jealous.
Game Spotlight: Kansas City Chiefs 37, Baltimore Ravens 20
What Happened
An old-fashioned behind-the-woodshed whoopin’, the kind we no longer talk about in polite society.
The Chiefs were faster, tougher and more disciplined than the Ravens, who looked like the Lions stole their self-confidence last Monday night.
This game didn’t look like a potential AFC Championship Game preview. It looked more like an opening-round Chiefs cakewalk from the early 2020s against some Wild Card pretender. The Saints put up a greater fight against the Bills than the Ravens put up in Arrowhead, for heaven’s sake.
You saw the game. No need to rehash the gory play-by-play details.
What It Means for the Chiefs
What a difference Xavier Worthy makes! The Ravens had no answer for his speed. Worthy’s presence brought creativity back to the Chiefs offense while opening up opportunities for other playmakers. For most of the first three weeks, Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes needed clever schemes and perfect execution just to manufacture five-yard gains. With Worthy back, their efforts against the Ravens netted 35-yard gains.
Now extrapolate to what will happen when Rashee Rice also returns in three weeks.
What It Means for the Ravens
Are the Ravens in trouble? Let’s see:
They are now 1-3.
They are getting worse as the weeks go on.
They are now 0-2 against their traditional playoff foes.
Lamar Jackson suffered what was being called a “strained” hamstring at presstime.
Injuries to Nnamdi Madubuike and others have sapped the talent and physicality out of the middle of their run defense.
Marlon Humphrey has been struggling at cornerback. He missed the second half with a calf injury. Jaire Alexander was raptured last week.
Their offense has started doing the dumb things it did to lose games in 2021 and 2022.
Their next two opponents aren’t exactly pushovers.
That sounds like the type of trouble that transcends a team’s tough strength-of-schedule modifiers, DVOA projections and reputation. Feel free to panic, Ravens fans.
What’s Next