It doesn't need any update, but to gild the lily biographical fact can now include "Led the nation in NIL, including Beats by Dre, Gatorade, Mercedes-Benz, BlackRock and the Sovereign Wealth Fund of Saudi Arabia".
And in college disclaimer we have "only ever coached by his Dad"
"I should never have put my blog ahead of our relationship seven years ago" that one had me rolling. I wish more scouting reports turned into existential crises.
So all I need to do is make a quick spreadsheet, xlookup each category, and profit! Let's see how it works using Cam Ward.
Set the Big 12 record for the 400-meter hurdles (track and field).
The son of some USFL guy from the '80s you barely remember.
High cut, which is bad if you need to use leverage to push people around, but perfect for wearing a zoot suit.
Fast explositivity.
When covering receivers, snaps his hips, swivels his torso and bifurcates his pelvis.
Telegraphs his routes by rounding them off, dipping his shoulders at the end of his stem, and making a series of dot-and-dash noises at the line of scrimmage.
Lacks special qualities. (In other words, he never returned my phone call for that post-combine feature on his more famous teammate, so take that, Stedman Bailey!)
Played on Bear Bryant's defense at Alabama, which means he is at least 56 years old.
Caught passes from Craig Krenzel at pro day. Yes, Craig Krenzel was hanging around pro day. No, he does not run a quarterback camp, and it wasn't Ohio State's pro day. He does some radio now, I think, but I did not see him with a microphone. It must have been a comeback attempt; he's 31 so I guess it's still possible. Nobody asked Krenzel what he was doing there. He just threw to the receivers and left in, like, a Hyundai Elantra or something. It was weird.
A boom-or-bust player who will go in the fifth round and be a spot starter.
Perfect!
(Also: This is a repost because stupid Substack deleted the wrong comment. Good thing I actually made the spreadsheet! Let me know if you want it!)
That's brilliant! Thank you for the re-issue.
It doesn't need any update, but to gild the lily biographical fact can now include "Led the nation in NIL, including Beats by Dre, Gatorade, Mercedes-Benz, BlackRock and the Sovereign Wealth Fund of Saudi Arabia".
And in college disclaimer we have "only ever coached by his Dad"
I want to double-like this post!
Chuckled about Wisconsin. With the NIL money dominating college football, the biggest change coming for Wisconsin is the name change to West Purdue.
As an aside, we have a thousand words for snow in Wisconsin. We call them "adjectives" and place them in front of the word snow.
Just like the Inuit do!
I don't know why, but out of all that genius, what made me snort loudest was "the eyeball test."
You tricked me into reading about a French poet and a mathematician making a flip book of poetry. Well done
"I should never have put my blog ahead of our relationship seven years ago" that one had me rolling. I wish more scouting reports turned into existential crises.
So all I need to do is make a quick spreadsheet, xlookup each category, and profit! Let's see how it works using Cam Ward.
Set the Big 12 record for the 400-meter hurdles (track and field).
The son of some USFL guy from the '80s you barely remember.
High cut, which is bad if you need to use leverage to push people around, but perfect for wearing a zoot suit.
Fast explositivity.
When covering receivers, snaps his hips, swivels his torso and bifurcates his pelvis.
Telegraphs his routes by rounding them off, dipping his shoulders at the end of his stem, and making a series of dot-and-dash noises at the line of scrimmage.
Lacks special qualities. (In other words, he never returned my phone call for that post-combine feature on his more famous teammate, so take that, Stedman Bailey!)
Played on Bear Bryant's defense at Alabama, which means he is at least 56 years old.
Caught passes from Craig Krenzel at pro day. Yes, Craig Krenzel was hanging around pro day. No, he does not run a quarterback camp, and it wasn't Ohio State's pro day. He does some radio now, I think, but I did not see him with a microphone. It must have been a comeback attempt; he's 31 so I guess it's still possible. Nobody asked Krenzel what he was doing there. He just threw to the receivers and left in, like, a Hyundai Elantra or something. It was weird.
A boom-or-bust player who will go in the fifth round and be a spot starter.
Perfect!
(Also: This is a repost because stupid Substack deleted the wrong comment. Good thing I actually made the spreadsheet! Let me know if you want it!)
So can you unearth the rest of your SoE material? Like 'Adult Swim' or 'Youth Sports'?