Mailbag Part 1: George Pickens and the Usual Suspects

Yes, there's Shedeur Sanders content, too. You keep asking for it. You keep getting it! Plus, the most "Iggles Fan" question ever asked.

Part 1 of May’s Mailbag will cover player and team-specific questions. Broad-based and non-NFL questions will be covered in Part 2.

What motivational quote would you write on the wall of the Browns' QB room? – Sam

“Winning isn’t everything. Pass the beer nuts.”

With the whole ridiculous Sanders draft stuff behind us (pending the stupid lawsuit), how much do you foresee Deion being involved in the Browns organization? How much of his possible meddling is real? And how much of it has been kind of drummed up by the Internet? We know he influenced things before the draft, but how do you foresee it going forward? – Josh R.

One advantage the Browns have over other organizations is that it’s hard to hurt the gleefully self-destructive.

Coach Prime can rip the Browns publicly, but this is a team that has harbored a goldbricking sex offender for three years and counting. What’s a little more criticism?

Jimmy Haslam is a two-bit villain from a Coen Brothers movie who makes quarter-billion dollar mistakes on a whim: what more harm can really be done to his reputation?

Paul DePodesta’s Moneyball enclave is sequestered somewhere in Cloud Cuckooland, safely out of Prime’s reach. Prime cannot fling race cards at Andrew Berry, and going after Kevin Stefanski is like screaming at the barista about Starbucks corporate policies.

Coach Prime will meddle, both personally and through easily-deniable channels like this Boogie Knight character. But it may just become part of the background radiation in Cleveland.

Talk about bizarre trifecta! Mel Kiper Jr. has a Shedeur Sanders meltdown. Shedeur posts images of himself partying while holding a suitcase apparently containing a million bucks. And then there's Bill Belichick going all P.W. on camera! Darth Hoodie, of all people! "Where to begin...?" Your take? – Dwight Jon Zimmerman

Sir, do NOT make me link back to the least-liked feature in Too Deep Zone history!

We are not living in a simulation. We are living in a broad, silly Wayans Brothers parody movie. So Shedeur presents himself as the cringy stereotype of Nolan Nawrocki’s greatest nightmare, Kiper scrambles Brick Tamland and Champ Kind into one ridiculous caricature, and Liam Neeson cameos as Belichick with his shirt ripped like he was just attacked by a bobcat, with another cringy stereotype (central-casting gold-digger/maneater) vamping on the edge of the screen.

It’s not reality. It’s not even great comedy. It’s an Upright Citizens Brigade improv from a weekday matinee.

In honor of the official doldrums of the NFL season, and now knowing way too much about Bill and Jordon’s love life, rank your top five worst offseason NFL “news” storylines. – KeithTNC

The Sanders Carnivale has at least had enough twists and turns to keep me on my toes. Here’s my bottom five:

5. Tom Brady, Shifty-Yet-Boring Entrepreneur. (Though Brady sitting at the Pathetic Baby Daddy’s Table at a Celebrity Wedding tickles me.)

4. Jerrah vs. Money: Summer of Procrastination (Part IV: The Parsonsing).

3. Bill Hearts Jordon and the Book Tour of Boredom.

2. Aaron Rodgers Pondering Life on the Beach Like Some Rejected Camus Character.

1. The Tush Push Ban, or How the NFL Emasculated Itself to Spite the Eagles.

If you meant all-time worst offseason news storylines: DeflateGate ranks first. AND WE WILL NOT BE DISCUSSING IT IN THE COMMENTS. The summer when NFL Twitter talked itself into thinking Antonio Brown was some sort of freedom fighter and martyr ranks second. But there are too many politics-adjacent and skeevy criminal situations (DeScuzzball, Michael Vick) on the list for us to have much fun with it.

So by unloading George Pickens, did the Steelers get far enough under the asshole cap space to be able to sign Rodgers? – Robert

I believe Rodgers has wandered off, and trading away wide receivers is no way for the Steelers to lure him back. But I love the idea of an Asshole Cap. The Jets are carrying a lot of dead asshole around with them this year.

As a Steelers fan, what kind of magical defensive performance should I expect this year to salvage a 9-8 record from the "situation" on offense? – Jason Manley

The Steelers need necromancy, or they need the Cocoon aliens to land and bring the 1977 defense back in its prime.

I don’t see any path to a 9-8 season with their current roster, even if Aaron Rodgers comes swooping in like Homelander on August 1st. Maybe the new overtime rules, which are likely to increase ties, will pave the way to a 5-6-6 season or something.

Re: Pickens/Steelers: Wasn't this basically the Steelers pulling the "When Harry Met Sally" contrapositive, "When you realize you DON'T want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible!" — Michael Alan Brewer

It took me several minutes to decode this question. My best answer is that we should not take relationship advice — and the Steelers should DEFINITELY not take NFL roster-building advice — from 1980s Nora Ephron romcoms.

Can you help me diagnose the Steelers leadership? I can't decide which of these scenarios is happening: #1 they have realized that winning is hard and the yinzers will pack the stadium no matter what. #2 they believe they are infallible and everything is going great and they have a legit shot at the 2026 Super Bowl. #3 they are mailing in the 2025 season with the expectation that they will get a superstar quarterback in the 2026 draft. #4 I am overreacting and this is all normal stuff that competent... yeah, I can't even type that. – countertorque

The Steelers have done a handful of things well for many years. They draft and develop outstanding edge rushers. Mike Tomlin coaches up the bottom of the roster well; organizational continuity works to his benefit here, as the scouting department knows what he wants and his assistants know their roles. The Steelers squeeze every drop of value from bugnuts mega-diva receivers before the Joker gas fully takes hold of their brains. They often dawdle when extending the contracts of their top stars – it’s time to extend T.J. Watt, fellas – but they usually get the deals done.

The Steelers also do some things very poorly. They are reluctant free agent shoppers. Tomlin prefers conservative-to-a-fault offensive strategies. And the franchise has been in denial about its quarterback situation since Ben Roethlisberger’s 2019 elbow injury.

Those Steelers weaknesses really collided this offseason. A team that bounces from “Maybe Big Ben can throw without an elbow for a few more years” to gassing up local hero Kenny Pickett to “Pickett is dead to us forever” to playing multiple choice with Justin Fields and Russell Wilson to “Aaron Rodgers: who says no?” (everyone does, including themselves and Rodgers) clearly has no idea what it wants from a quarterback.

The Steelers hate making splashy offers, making it hard to make the bold moves needed to sign Rodgers or find some creative solution. Their continuity has also fostered inflexibility: when faced with the challenge of trying something new, the Steelers inevitably reverted to their comfort zone by drafting defensive players and running backs.

I think this offseason got away from the Steelers. The immediate free-agent interest in Fields and Wilson caught them off guard, as did the mutual ambivalence between themselves and Rodgers. Shedeur likely tanked his five-hour interview with the Steelers on April 18th. I believe the Steelers suddenly found themselves without a quarterback plan one week before the draft, and they’re not the sort of organization that stops on a dime and changes course.

Heck, it’s possible that George Pickens went from a possible enticement for Rodgers to a throw-in for a trade-up for Shedeur to a likely malignancy for a rebuilding team as the month of April went on.

In your view, which coaches are under the most pressure? Who has the most rope? Who shouldn't have the most rope? How long before Deion breaks his cone of silence (which must be *bursting* at the seams), and when he does, what will he say? – Adam

To continue the Steelers conversation, I think Tomlin is officially on the hot seat. A coach of his long tenure and level of organizational power can’t really fall back on the front office never found me a quarterback. A 2025 collapse could lead the Steelers to conclude that it’s time for some change for change’s sake. It might well do them some good.

As I wrote during the draft assessments, the Dolphins are gearing up for The Purge, and Mike McDaniel won’t survive it unless he wins a playoff game. McDaniel’s first move if the Dolphins are noodling along below .500 as Thanksgiving approaches will be to bench Tua Tagovailoa. Get ready to watch the drama unfold.

Let’s see … both Shane Steichen and Chris Ballard could take the fall for Anthony Richardson, assuming the Colts quarterback situation goes kablooey, but I don’t want to try to think like Jim Irsay, because I tried magic mushrooms once in 1987 and did not care for them. I have no idea what the Cardinals think of Jonathan Gannon; you probably didn’t ask this question because you are interested in the fate of Jonathan Gannon.

As for the Browns, Kevin Stefanski was likely to be a victim of circumstance before the Prime Carnivale came to town. I think he’s a fine coach who has gotten a raw deal, but you can hear the “need for a culture change” rhetoric now, can’t you?

Brian Daboll is a dead man walking.

As a Pats fan, I can always console myself with knowing that no matter how dysfunctional my team is, the Jets are always Jets-ier. Is this the year they figure it out? New head coach looks worryingly competent. – Dave S.

I have never seen a team devote its offseason to self-care as obviously and thoroughly as the Jets have done this year. They are not rebuilding, peaking, tanking or even doing culture-building stuff. They’re spending 2025 in their pajamas.

Aaron Glenn is probably as competent as Todd Bowles or Robert Saleh; coaching competence has little to do with the Jets’ fortunes. (Coaching incompetence just extends the brand.) If you want to determine whether the Jets have “figured it out,” keep an eye on how they handle Sauce Gardner, Garrett Wilson and (to a lesser extent) Jermaine Johnson this season. Gardner and Wilson should be queuing up for extensions very soon, but the Jets and their former first-round picks have a long history of turning on each other like rats in a sinking galleon right around year four.

As a Jets fan, I’ve consoled myself over the past couple of years with knowing that the Jets finally had a chance to beat the dreaded Patriots (and they did). Is this the year that the Patriots bounce back? I pray not. – GS

This is probably the year when the Patriots climb back over the Jets.

I’m less impressed than just about anyone else by the Patriots’ offseason. I think Mike Vrabelichick is a fine coach but a worrisome personnel guy. Josh McDaniels without Tom Brady is Diet Norv Turner. All of the Stefon Diggs looks sooooo healthy headlines I keep reading come across like black-tar copium. The Patriots certainly improved their roster during their offseason Costco shopping sprees, but there’s a difference between improving a terrible roster and building a good roster.

The Patriots offseason reminds me of all the A+++ free agency and draft grades we used to give the Jaguars every two years. Grabbing everyone who is not nailed down, no matter the cost, usually doesn’t work. Folks in New England don’t realize this, because they have never experienced a Jaguars offseason before.

Is the Jayden Daniels glazing reaching ridiculous levels or am I just a hater? I mean, I am, but that doesn't make me wrong. — Tracer Bullet

Some replies to this question from the chat:

(1) He's so good; (2) By all accounts he's a nice kid and gives thoughtful responses to the media. This probably endears him more than like 95% of the other QBs; (3) There's an aspect of *he's just having fun out there* where he's running around, slinging the ball side arm, smiling etc. that's catnip to national broadcasters. — Mike K.

Back in my day, you should have seen the CJ Stroud glazing! — Mike Schobazaford

Quarterbacks like Daniels and Stroud are like foxy new love interests. All of their endearing traits are obvious, but they haven’t left the toilet seat up, refilled the dishwasher without emptying the clean stuff or said something like “we really need to arm this country’s dogwalkers” yet. Daniels is enjoying his media honeymoon right now.

It’s likely that Daniels will slip back toward reality this season, as Stroud did last year. But saying so is like telling the honeymooning couple that hard times are coming. Of course they are! Unless there’s something specific to base such pessimism on — she slipped off with the bartender while his eyes were glued to his blackjack app — saying things in the media like HE’S NOT THAT PERFECT YOU KNOW is unnecessary naysaying. And there’s no trouble in paradise for the Commanders right now: adding Deebo Samuel and Laremy Tunsil is like getting a house and a copy of the Kuma Sutra as wedding gifts.

If you are watching a show or listening to a podcast that’s fluffing Daniels too flagrantly for you, turn it off and do something else! It’s May!

Eagles have tried this radical approach of defending their title by packing it in. CJGJ gone for a bag of peanuts and Isaiah Rodgers and Darius Slay signed reasonable deals elsewhere. Then, Howie drafted a bunch of 2027 lottery tickets. Was the Cam Jurgens extension really worth punting on maximizing the roster for next year? — Mike K.

Gosh, if only the Eagles did something to maximize their chances of repeating this season instead of getting rid of all those important players like the surly safety and the 34-year-old cornerback. If only they made some moves that suggested immediate urgency …

OH YEAH: THEY EXTENDED SAQUON BARKLEY AND RE-SIGNED ZACK BAUN, TWO OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PLAYERS ON THE ROSTER.

Seriously, is this some WYSP take? Is this what Iggles fans have resorted to in an effort to make themselves miserable? All of the team’s stars are under contract. They actually have one of the league’s youngest rosters. Last year’s draft class was one of the best in franchise history. Did fans really think the Eagles could keep the entire roster intact?

Smile, Mike K.: the Eagles are World Champions, and they remain among the short list of 2025 contenders. These are the best times to be an Eagles fan ever. It’s important to cherish them. There will be plenty of time for misery when they are terrible again.