33 Comments
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Josh R's avatar

I thought this is going to be 2000 words per team. Get back to work! ;)

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Scott's avatar

The unspoken truth about the Chiefs is they are now a defensive team. It’s been that way since last year, especially in the playoffs. This Chiefs team is more like those early 2000s Patriot teams-clutch quarterback play for sure but overall a defensive team.

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Jeff Cook-Coyle's avatar

Can Travis Kelce be featured for 13 regular season games plus the playoffs? He was great last year when it mattered because they kept him on the shelf for the regular season.

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Lost Ti-Cats Fan's avatar

With Pacheco healthy, I'd say they'd shift to a defense + power running team, with enough offensive wizardry from Reid and Mahomes to pull out tight games. Without Pacheco, that may not be feasible. Like Jeff, I'm not sure running the passing game through Kelce in October is smart, they can do that in January. Between now and then, they need to keep grinding out wins however they can.

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Gordon's avatar

I don't know what it is but "Leftenant Beauregard Sideways" makes me crack every time I read it

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Jeff Cook-Coyle's avatar

Especially when they rotated him 90 degrees clockwise. Twice!

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Ken Kousen's avatar

Wonderful, but "someone left a flake out in the rain" is a first ballot HOF line. I have to find somewhere to use the Carthage after the 3rd Punic War line, too

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Mike Tanier's avatar

Eh ... I don't think Ancient Rome references have quite the cultural cache I wish they did.

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Jeff Cook-Coyle's avatar

The first MacArthur Park reference that I am now getting. I don't thinknthat i can take it. Because it took so long to bake it.

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Sheepnado's avatar

They said that Punic War I was “The Punic War To End All Punic Wars”, and look what happened.

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Tom C's avatar

One positive thing for Denver is in the last 3 games their defense has surrendered a total of 29 points. If they can just hold all of their opponents to 10 points every time, that would give the offense entire games to score 11 points.

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Mike Tanier's avatar

Defense has indeed played very well!

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Michael Pariser's avatar

Hey Mike-

Not to be snarky (or maybe so,) but I thought you were a math teacher. Here's your pop quiz question for the day:

Leftenant BS is throwing parallel to the line of scrimmage, and his coach rotates him 90 degrees clockwise, so he is now throwing downfield. How many degrees will Leftenant BS need to rotate in order to throw in a negative direction? Hint: it's not 90.

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Donald garnett's avatar

Is he throwing to his right or to his left?

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Robbie Marriage's avatar

Go easy on the Steelers' QB situation. Justin has played fine so far!

I cannot believe that the best QB in the NFL through four weeks is a rookie. Either the fall back down to Earth will be precipitous, or there's a legitimate chance we're looking at the best rookie QB of all time.

The Sam Darnold comeback story was so predictable. A man who played so well for the Carolina Panthers moving to the high powered Vikings? I'm surprised more people didn't see this coming. Minnesota tried to mess it up for themselves by inserting JJ McCarthy into the mix, but they got lucky with his injuries. You're probably right that the irresistible allure of tanking will continue to draw teams in though.

Mid CJ Stroud holds down elite Texan offence. Same script, different season.

What about the Baltimore Ravens? When their defence plays great, they win. If they don't, they lose. It's been the same pattern for a while now, but when your defence is capable of shutting down the Buffalo Bills in that way, I guess it's not a bad pattern to have.

Can we all admit Brock Purdy is for real yet? Come on guys. Be honest with yourselves. That SF defence has been a bit nightmare inducing, but that offence is going right on along, no matter how many weapons its lost. Eventually there comes a time to look at the common denominator here...

Lots of meh in the middle of the NFC this season. Aside from the Vikings, the whole conference has been meh in the middle so far. Perhaps this is just the case for the whole league except for Minnesota. I just can't see the Chiefs keeping up their balancing act. I'm not ready to admit Jayden Daniels is the best QB in the NFL. Tampa Bay looked lost against the horrendous Denver offence. Houston will be held back by their mid QB play. So will Pittsburgh, and that takes care of most of the teams above .500 right now.

Oh great teams. Where art thou?

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Jeff Cook-Coyle's avatar

That is my reaction every year.

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Michael Blevins's avatar

You have successfully captured the Mafia experience. I have seen more "fire McDermott" posts in the last 48 hours that I thought possible.

That said, he did make some bad decisions.

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Mike Tanier's avatar

He made one stupendous one on the trick play!

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Mark D'Agostino's avatar

The Baltimore game very neatly summed up my feelings about the Bills going into the season.

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John Webber's avatar

Mike, was that a reference to MacArthur Park there?

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Josh R's avatar

Yes, and now the damn thing is stuck in my head

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John Webber's avatar

The strange voice of Richard Harris.

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Sean's avatar

The strange trumpet of Maynard Ferguson. Also got the strange voice of Nigel Tufnel stuck in my head

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Josh R's avatar

I do not remember Maynard squealing MacArthurs Park, but I will take your word for it. Now I have to go listen to Conquistador

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Josh R's avatar

Clearly the best version ever

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Josh R's avatar

Donna Summer, for me

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Sheepnado's avatar

That’s an idea for a future project…perfect ironic matchups for classic songs. Like Tony Bennett doing Sympathy for the Devil, or The Ramones singing Puff the Magic Dragon.

But MacArthur Park was sung by King Arthur/English Bob. What can you do with that?

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B Trent's avatar

For years have enjoyed your talent breaking down sports BUT …the comment about Jesus was a big turn off for me …hope you know your a bonified idiot for saying that crap…stick to what you know or get your history facts correct before you disparage my Lord and Savior pal ! We forgive you even though you doubtfully deserve it for that remark…weak sauce man

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Atticus man!'s avatar

Raider Joe? Did you find the light?

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Jonathan Silverberg's avatar

I doubt "breathtaking literary talent" is best illustrated by a MacArthur Park knockoff...the Punic wars reference, however...

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Mike Tanier's avatar

Breathtaking, I tell ya.

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Joe's avatar

“Andy Reid for Emperor of Earth.” Agreed!

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